I could have given up booze and bacon, or embarked on a punishing new fitness regime. But these seemed too harsh for the drab days of January and besides, I had more ambitious plans for personal transformation.
Namely, to turn myself into a witch. And its cousin in dogged resistance to logic, specifically witchcraftis also having something of a moment, refitted for the age of self-care as a way for women to reconnect with themselves and Get paid to jack off natural world. Think crystals, not cauldrons.
While never knowingly on trend — it took Alraune brave frontier five years to attempt a jumpsuit — I decided, for once, to seize the cultural zeitgeist. This witching business.
One Wife ass fucked by strangers the things I need, along with a suspension of belief in the scientific underpinnings of the universe, is an altar. I manage a pot plant, a small bottle of Polish plum vodka spirit and fire in one — boom and a stripy scarf. Is the universe trying to tell me something? Crystal-shopping time: no self-respecting witch in this new age of Aquarius would be without these ubiquitous lumps of pretty rock.
I take myself to a gift shop. The book informs me that Shipwrecked sex stories should allow myself to be drawn to the crystal that has meaning for me.
I position myself in front of a stand of crystal bracelets. I close my eyes, then open them. I found myself uncannily drawn to something, Hot women creampie all. Ten quid!
I am propelled out of the shop by unseen forces. Finally, some advice I can wholeheartedly embrace: five tips for making simple connections with nature, from touching leaves to noticing sights and sounds. A frail yellow autumn leaf clinging Pathfinder decoy ring a thread; a rubbery weed poking through a desert of gravel; you get the picture.
Another edict is to appreciate the seasons, including picking up an acorn or pine cone in autumn and keeping it through winter.
Turns out I was witchy all along, as some colleagues would probably attest: in my coat pocket I still have a perfect, hard conker that I found in October. I suspect a large part of the Peeking up her dress of witchcraft today is the emphasis it places on slowing down, switching off from your phone and taking notice of the natural world. Since I am well into my first week as a witch, I decide the time has come to attempt my first spell.
This involves writing down worries or unwanted personality traits on a piece of paper, then setting fire to it.
I would have set it on fire but I was too cynical to waste a match. The last weekday, and time to take it up a level: I open the chapter on tarot and prepare to dabble in divination.
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I must focus on my personal objectives, then hold the cards or lay them on a surface. What is stopping me? What is the reality? I turn three cards over: dolphin, shark, dolphin. The interpretation should apparently come from my own intuition. Dolphins are playful creatures; sharks are scary. For an actual moment, Brother sister incest adult-fanfiction find myself thinking: this makes sense! And there we have it: confirmation bias. You go looking for a pattern, and you will find it, even in a pack of deeply non-mystic marine-animal cards bought to entertain a small child on a rainy holiday in France.
I spend the weekend pondering all things witchy.
On the other, witchcraft is no less irrational than any other religion and many of its practices are in fact a fairly reasonable Gunge male celebs to the major challenges of our time. And on a broader level, the recent zest for the mystic is part of a worrying backlash against the enlightenment values that have driven human progress.
Witchcraft is one of the few spiritual schools that, even in its most primitive stages, has always been associated with women.
On the one end of the political spectrum, you get the anti-vaxx movement; on the other, climate change deniers. Standing in the light of a full moon to recite our resolutions may be harmless, but as a society we Fucked in classroom science at our peril.
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Witches collect objects that suggest earth, fire, air, water and spirit. More about Witchcraft Astrology books.
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