Let's face it: "masturbation" is not a pretty word. It sounds clunky and clinical, neither of which are attributes that should be associated with self-pleasure.
Unfortunately, many of the Naked navy wives words for masturbation are just as bad. There are dozens of ridiculous slang words to describe this act, ranging from very vague to extremely vulgar. Wondering why no one has tried to fix this problem? Well, Sweden has.
Popular slang searches
Turns out there is no Swedish term for female masturbation. Inthe Swedish Association for Sexual Education went as far as to have a contest to come up with a new name for it.
Their attempt to open up the dialogue around women and masturbation was definitely admirable, but the word they came up with didn't prove to be a popular solution. I mean, have you even heard about it?
I included it on the list three for women — belowbecause I know Fallout 1 bloody mess ending curious. Whether you're looking to expand your dirty vocabulary or you're just looking to learn some new sexual innuendo, you're in luck.
I've complied a list that you never even knew you needed. Below are 15 of the most bizarre phrases for both female and male masturbation — I hope you enjoy.
The feminine equivalent to "jacking off," this popular term makes me feel sorry for all the Jills Sabitha babi stories there. Here you have it. A combination of the Swedish words for "clitoris" klitoris and "glitter" glittrathis word unfortunately received some criticism when it was announced. Love it or hate it, flicking the bean is often used to describe female masturbation.
Euphemisms for masterbation
Where do you stand on the issue? Who hasn't put off Father and son compare size responsibilities and opted to spend the afternoon with their vibrator instead? This mash-up of procrastinating and masturbating is honestly genius.
I think this last word is a clear winner in the ladies' category. It's witty, elegant, and French.
So perfect. Of course the names for male masturbation are going to be gross. Trust me, I tried to pick the least explicit options.
I always knew puppets were creepy. There is a female version of this as well, which refers to finger puppets instead. Not any better.
Again, ew. Why are there so many objects that become phallic as soon as you put them in the wrong context?
This is probably the least offensive of the bunch, but it's still not great. As a side note, why is there so much animal imagery when it comes to male masturbation? Oh look, another animal.
By the way ladies, if your man says he's taking the dog for a walk but you don't have a dog Now that you're enlightened, you can go out into the world and come up with your own term for masturbation. Hopefully one that's way better than any of these. Trademark it and you'll probably be rich. Maybe it will end up in the Oxford dictionary and Weight gain tg the new "bae" or "yass.
48 omg ways to say you’re masturbating (that you’ve never heard)
By Jamie Kravitz. For Women. Search Close.